Social-Emotional Learning: Self-Management

Managing our emotions and stress is a huge part of adult SEL. I think I will never be able to say: "Now I have learned everything I need  to learn about it," simply because different situations require different strategies. I spent last week attending a conference, and while I loved it (so much!!) by the end of the week I was completely "peopled out" even though I enjoyed the company and what I was learning. 

So, I had to figure out the best possible stress management strategies to use: walking on the beach and in the forest, finding the beauty in the nature, and  bringing some wild flowers into my room.

Many events are built by extroverts (I think because they like to do that and are good at doing it) and for extroverts. I am very grateful for their work. And I hope we can start communicating about the needs to have quiet time, or a quiet room and take a break, because learning becomes hard or impossible when we get "peopled out". Meanwhile, I hope we all can find self-management strategies that will work for our own needs!

Also, there is a great article in AEON publication Psyche article about the exclusion of introverts and suggestions to meet the needs of this approximately one third of the population. 

Social-Emotional Learning: Relationship Skills

I love trees! And the Ocean! So getting to visit the Striped Peak was a true pleasure. Sitting down in the sunshine, on the grass high above the waves crashing to the cove below was a great treat. 

Observing the madrona tree hanging over the edge, its roots dug deep in the rocky soil, I realized that it had all the support it needed to stay alive. Maybe not thrive, but as a tree you don't have much choice - you have to survive in the soil and environment where the seed dropped. Other trees had been competing for the nutrition and space with it - and some of them had fallen, leaving a broken stump behind.

But as humans, we DO know how to collaborate. Fortunately! Because the social skills of offering help and asking for it are foundational for our societies. 

When we are in the situation of abundance or affluence, we need to remember the moments of scarcity and disposession, and offer help to others. Because that's how we grow as human beings. A flip side of that is equally true - we need to ask for help when we need it. Yet, that can be surprisingly hard.

An important part of being an educator is to keep on offering help to our students. They may not need it today, or tomorrow, or next week. But, they hopefully will remember that it has been offered abundantly - which makes it easier to ask for it.

Seeking and offering help is fundamental for humanity.

Social-Emotional Learning: Self-Management

Having the courage to take initiative is an important part of Adult SEL (and also very important for children and youth, too). However, in out work lives taking initiative isn't always perceived positively, sometimes because it may challenge the status quo making the initiative too high stakes to take, or simply be perceived as too much work piled up onto our existing responsibilities. 

Yet, we should just do it to support our own well-being. It doesn't have to be anything earth-shattering, it can just be a simple decision of doing what is important to us. Something we want to try. Just making a a simple little  PACT with ourselves:  

I will [action] for [duration]

These PACTs with ourselves can happen in any areas of our lives: personal, work, education...anything! 

Full confession: I love following the Ness labs blog, and I have learned so much from it! And now, realizing how well this aligns with SEL, I am just beyond excited! 

The most important part is to keep our learning mindset, or growth mindset alive. Because how could we ever help our students become learners if we forget to be learners in our busy everyday lives?

So here is my challenge to you: What do YOU choose to learn next??  What learning will you enjoy this weekend or next week?

Social-Emotional Learning: Self-Management

Self-management has so very many aspects: goal-setting, self-discipline, planning and organizing things, managing our emotions and managing out stress. There are days when things can get very overwhelming and life feels like a rogue wave washing over places we usually think to be safe.

Changing our self-talk is am important part of managing ourselves! I often hear teachers talk to themselves in a way they would never, ever talk to a student - and then I get to remind us all about  being kind to ourselves, because it helps SO much!

I also need  to remind myself about changing my words and sometime saying it aloud: Today is a challenging day, but I am making progress!  I can choose to focus on the positive things!

Social-Emotional Learning: Self-Awareness

Adult SEL is an integral part of human development – and it is important to remember that our personal development continues throughout our lives.  Which is why I want to remind people that SEL is not only for our students. We need to engage in growing our own SEL competencies, too!

I mean, there is so much new to learn, every day. And if we stop learning, catching up will be hard. Also, the teaching profession is really REALLY a learning profession - so the day when we stop learning is also the day when we need to stop teaching.

While teaching and learning are not the two sides of the same coin - they are literally two extremely different processes - they are closely related to each other in the future-oriented focus of the actions. And while thinking about the future is important, recalling happy memories from the past is an easy way to grow our own self-awareness because it answers some of the important questions like:

• Who am I? Who do I want to become?
• What is important to me?
• How have my interests shifted over the years

The flowers in the image are wood anemones and I have so many wonderful memories of them from my childhood. They were the first wild flowers to bloom in southern Finland - often emerging just before mother's day. Near our summer cabin the flowers covered huge areas in the forest floor, which made picking them so fun and easy - knowing that having a vase full of them would not diminish the beauty of the forest.

Social-Emotional Learning: Responsible Decision-Making

Observing collaboration in nature is always amazing: I see this lichen in the spring with beautiful gray-purple colors, and soon again it goes back into hiding. But it is the collaboration of algae and fungi, often also yeasts and bacteria. that makes lichens possible. Lichens are how we learned about symbiosis (close, long-term between organisms or species). 

We don't need to be in a symbiotic relationship, but choosing to collaborate (instead to compete) increases our chances for success in most situations. 

In Finnish we call these lichens as “Nahkajäkälä” - nahka meaning the leather or just a leathery look and feel and jäkälä meaning lichen - and I have always found lichens so interesting ever since I learned about their symbiotic nature. 

I think Responsible Decision-Making is a lifelong process to master. We certainly want to start teaching it early, but as it is tied to our Executive Function skills (EF), we cannot expect people to master it before they turn 21 - and there is a lot of individual variation, too. Here is a great definition of EF: 

Executive functioning skills refer to the brain-based, cognitive processes that 

help us to regulate our behavior, make decisions and set and achieve goals [1]

What is one thing that we can choose to collaborate on, instead of competing for it? In my work it has been the realization that supporting the success of my colleagues is much more beneficial than trying to compete with them.

How about you?

:)

Nina

[1] https://learn.mciu.org/the-intersection-of-executive-functioning-skills-and-social-emotional-learning-starting-with-the-brain/

Social-Emotional Learning: Self-Management

I think Self-Management is a life-long project. Being aware of ourselves and our assets and challenges is an important first step, but investing in our relationship to self is a great next step. 

Managing emotions and realizing when to turn away from a challenge keeps us safe. Unfortunately, there was nothing we could do to help this jellyfish on the beach.

Big waves (like sudden changes and tragedies) can shake us too, and make us feel like we have lost our footing, which is why SEL instruction is so very important protective factor. 

Fortunately, today I see SEL being part of all levels of education: CASEL   Another great tool is this beautiful Inner Development  Framework to support our self-transformation.